#0 Name: Anonymous
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#25445 Name: Anonymous   45min
>>25444
Dreamwidth built in following feed being only two weeks of updates turned me off it
#25446 Name: Anonymous   4h
>>25442
cheers anon, you too...
#25447 Name: Anonymous   9h
I feel like I'm addicted to the internet
just so you get it, I don't have any other addictions or even any bad habits, I don't smoke, I can't stand drinking and drunk people, I don't do drugs and I don't even drink coffee. But I just can't stand off the internet. It's not even that I might doomscroll too much or anything, it's just that I don't find real life anywhere pleasing or rewardful. I just find it the most comfy on the internet and I'm concerned about this.
#25448 Name: Anonymous   11h
>>25447
I'm curious where you have found on here where it's possible to spend so much time? I've been on the web since the early 90s and I have increasingly found that there almost no places left where I would choose to visit on a regular basis.
#25449 Name: Anonymous   14h
>>25448
I'm sure I will grow bored of online places at some point, I consider most of them pretty hollow as well, but you know, when you make a post and check on the page to see if anybody replied you, this is quite a feeling. Often I find myself disappointed in people, when I'm on the internet. Sometimes I find myself disappointed in myself, but this is nothing compared to that kind of boredom I experience in reality lately. Now to clarify, I don't find reality explicitly boring, it's just the conditions I'm living in. And I don't know what is better.

And the social aspect, putting aside all the ibs and forums, which is not even the most the internet has to offer, it's friends that make me feel much more welcome than anywhere else. I don't have many friends in reality, I cannot make any, if I do it's all gonna be doubtful and uncertain. I have just a bunch of friends online, but they are so great I can't express how much do I love them.

It all could be just a result of an unfortunate set of conditions, such as being a neurodivergent teen in a rural area without much future to be seen ahead of me. I feel like I could even find a mere purpose at least on the internet, but I'm not really getting anywhere much. In fact, whatever I'm saying here probably sounds like a non-issue, maybe it is a non-issue, likely it is a non-issue, it's just that my room and my online persona with some vague facade means so much to me I come to thinking that I should've achieved more than I actually did.

I still have plenty time to achieve more, I might actually be just sad and blue out of nothing, when this happens life seems miserable, people say it's normal to feel like shit sometimes, but uhh. why do I feel like shit most of the times? I thought you should feel like shit for a bit, and then everything's good again, but in my case it's just some exhausting loop of feeling like shit, thinking that you're feeling better and suddenly feeling like shit again. the worst thing is that in this case, I cannot exactly hide on the internet, even though I do. It helps to not think about it sometimes, but often serves as another reason to think that my life is over because I spent too much time reading about all the wrong shit that won't help me in life.

Perhaps, it could be some untreated and undiagnosed shit I could get fixed with psychiatrist. Maybe, it could be some hormonal regulation going on, I'm still a teenager, after all. It could be anything, and I don't even really care what exactly causes me to feel like that and cope by dissociating in the internet, I just would like to know, will it fucking end or what?
#25450 Name: Anonymous   14h
**don't mind that my writing is all over the place, I'm in a rush so I didn't bother fixing mistakes, this whole post was something of a stream of consciousness, hope that's clear.
#25451 Name: Anonymous   16h
>>25445
Yeah that's fair, though tbh it doesn't bother me much

#25452 Name: anon   18h
I also feel addicted to the internet, even with increasingly less to do on it. I somehow end up spending more time on it with less to do, than in the past where I actually took pleasure in using it. it's a bit paradoxical that way.

some might say that's a result of short attention span from short form content and predatory algorithms, but if I've deliberately stayed away from those things my entire life, how do I still feel a pull to use it? why do I find myself scrolling back and forth on my phone's home screen looking at nothing? opening and closing my email over and over knowing there's nothing waiting for me?

I imagine it's more a result of real life circumstances changing. real life is no longer enriching despite what I try, swamped with work six days a week, no friends who live close enough to visit. I can't even socialize with my own family, I get ignored as if I'm a ghost in my own home.

I'd love to say it will get better as you get older on its own, but the opposite has happened for me. it really does feel like an addiction, you need to make a strong willful effort to stay away from it, but with the way real life forces you to use devices for everything, you'll eventually have to interact with it, and it'll be so easy to slip back into it.

I think the cure for it would be to make your real life more enriching, if you have a lot of irl friends and events to go to, places to hang out, the internet becomes less relevant.
#25453 Name: Anonymous   20h
its been a while wow theres more peephole